Most experienced guys in the “dating game” have encountered a woman who felt major attraction for them. We are talking about her fondling them, laughing at all their stupid jokes, looking at them with big gaga eyes...
When they tried to kiss her she completely shut down.
If you've been there before, you know exactly what I am talking about. It's freakin' frustrating to say the least.
But here's the tragic truth...
Most of us guys assume that before having sex with a woman we need to trigger arousal, build an emotional connection, and play tonsil hockey with her.
Reason being... the male mind solves problems in a linear fashion.
Men intuitively think that in order to sleep with a woman they have to go through a linear sequence of steps.
When a woman puts up resistance by not kissing them, many guys construe it as a barrier they must break down to progress to the next step.
As a result, most guys either keep trying to kiss her, back up and build an emotional connection with her, or throw in the towel and give up completely.
But, alas, going down any of these paths on the three forked road is a one way ticket to euthanizing your penis.
Don't get me wrong...
Sparking arousal, building an emotional connection, and kissing a woman can set the stage for sex.
But not always... and sometimes kissing a women and building an emotional connection will cripple your chances of bedding her.
When it comes to sex, a woman's emotional state is more volatile than the Homeric Gods and her decision making process is more irrational than Britney Spear's parenting.
Here's something that might shed some light...
Years ago I was out on a date with a woman. Back then, I had negative game.
But on this night, I was blessed with a Midas tongue. I was the Mohammad Ali of attraction. Every single word I uttered completely sucked her into my reality. All night she couldn't keep her little paws off me.
I know you're probably thinking: "Okay, Swinggcat... You said you had no game back then. This girl must have been as big as a house. Did you have to rent a forklift to move her around on the date? Was she a two bagger or a three bagger?"
I swear, man... she was smokin'!
With confidence I told myself, "You're gonna get some moist relief tonight."
By the end of the night I had her on my bed in my arms.
How much easier could this get, right? Wrong.
My dream date was about to turn into a freakin' nightmare.
I went in for the kiss and she turned her head away from me.
So I waited a few minutes and tried again but this time she snarled, "Ew... will you please stop molesting me?!!"
I gotta be honest... this hurt a little bit.
"Maybe I was being selfish and only thinking about my own needs? Perhaps I was making her feel uncomfortable?" I feared.
So I stopped trying to kiss her and made a tragic try at meaningful conversation. I asked her, "If money and social acceptance didn't matter, what would you want to do with your life?"
Are you giving me a survey now? How original." she growled. Then she turned her back on me.
I rolled away from her and stared up at the ceiling. It felt like my heart was ripped and stepped on.
And here's something about this story I've never admitted to anyone (probably because I'm not one those Oprah Winfrey- express-your-emotions-to-world kinda guys but I think it's important that you know)...
I started crying. It was one of those cries you keep inside because you don't want anyone to ever know (She didn't know I cried and still doesn't.)
I didn't blame her for a second about what happened. But I felt like a complete failure.
Then out of pure desperation, I started spooning her from behind. I began rubbing her thighs. Then I lowered her pants, and started stimulating her with my fingers. This, to my amazement, led to sex.
Here's what's weird: Afterwards I tried to kiss her, she pushed me away.
Since then I've had dozens of experiences - and so have many of my friends - where a woman wouldn't kiss but was open to sex.
Here's the lesson: Many women are closed to kissing a stranger yet open to having sex with one.
One reason they act this way, to quote a female friend, is that "'Kissing' is meaningful, while sex is just sex." Her words voice the sentiments of many women.
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